every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
