either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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