quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He better not be in your backpack
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
