I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
