He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
