in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
