I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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