I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
