Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
