he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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