if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
