Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Randomize