i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize