do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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