Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
