I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
