Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
