Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
