You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize