Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
