Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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