Your dad touched me again.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
