You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
