You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
