OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
