I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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