i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
