I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I could fuck to npr.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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