if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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