I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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