we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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