I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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