There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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