I am full of burrito and curiosity
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just gargled with NyQuil
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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