Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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