I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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