shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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