I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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