On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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