garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
