I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
