nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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