you guys were way drunker than both of me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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