Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
