Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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