I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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