It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I didn't notice because vodka
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
