Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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