i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
