You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
