You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize