The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
