I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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