Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
