Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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