ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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