Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
