i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize