I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
