This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
