from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
