Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
