I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
