Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
