Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
