I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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