your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
