How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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