found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
